5 Places to Take Your Tinder Date in Halton

It finally happened.

You swiped right 600 million+ times if you’re a man and maybe 50 times if you’re a woman and you finally matched with someone you enjoyed talking to — or someone whose pictures and textual flirtations were on point enough to lead to a scheduled rendezvous. You’ve connected on Tinder and you’re ready to meet up.

Now, where to meet up depends on a lot of things. What are you looking for? What kind of date (if any), do you want to go on? What are your interests? Fortunately, I’ve done the guesswork for you. Here’s a handy guide on where to take your Tinder date in this fine region..


1) An Indie Cafe

If you’re interested in actually getting to know your date in a casual setting, a cafe is ideal. If things go sour immediately, you can get away with committing no more than 20 minutes to the date because you won’t have to wait for a bill to arrive or a movie to end. Cafes are perfect places to duck out of quick-time if your date is 10+ years older or younger and/or looks completely different from their photos (some might say that’s shallow, but major dishonesty upfront is a red flag). On the other hand, if things go really well, you can probably sit there uninterrupted until the place closes down.

As for what cafes to choose, pick your location wisely. Don’t settle for a Tim Hortons, Coffee Time or Country Style if you can help it. These are not sexy places. They’re cheap and lack ambiance. They don’t provide lilting indie rock or soothing earth tones. Your best bet is to cozy up in Kerr Village or downtown Oakville or Burlington (we love TriBeCa, GoldStar, and Tamp) or if you’re in Milton, try Hawthorne Cafe or the Hen and the Roost. It’s also wise to choose a cafe inside a bookstore, as you can browse some tomes if you get bored of sitting. You can also try the burrito place down Brant Street if you want to do lunch without committing too much time upfront.


2) Movies Under the Stars

I don’t usually endorse movies as good first date activities, especially if it’s your first face-to-face meeting. Sitting in silence for two hours is not conducive to getting to know someone and committing to a full night together (like dinner and movie or a movie and drinks) might be a bad idea if you don’t click in person. A Burlington open air movie (which happens every Thursday night at 9 p.m. throughout the warmer months) is a good exception because it’s not too quiet to chat (the movie is loud and closed-captioned, so interested viewers can pay attention despite surrounding noise) and you can wander for a little change of scenery if the film gets dry or you lose interest. You can also grab takeout from a nearby restaurant and enjoy a picnic on a blanket as you get to know each other with Shrek playing in the background.


3) Intellectually or Physically Demanding Activity

Tinder uses are known for two things: listing their heights and claiming to be the most active people in the world. They’ll write things like, “snowboard every day or GTFO!” or yammer on (or yammer as much as possible in less than 500 characters) about how they’re always at the gym just workin’ on their fitness. Those people are obnoxious as fuq and you should tell them to move to Whistler and never speak to you again.

On the other hand, some people are more active and like to enjoy something adventurous with a potential bf or gf. Those people are cool and there are a lot of things you can do together, such as:

- Paintball: There are several paintball facilities, such as Paintball Nation in Burlington and Defcon Paintball Oakville (which is technically in Mississauga), plus Ultimate Paintball Park west of Milton and Halton Hills … and you can try any of them if you both like pain and staining.

- Archery Tag or Axe-Throwing: Women love men who can slay enemies. (Archery Terminal is on Century Dr. in Burlington)

- Room Escapes: In this harsh world, you need someone you can depend on to interpret hieroglyphics, catch murderous criminals and prevent viral outbreaks. (Narrow Escape is on Speers Rd. in Oakville, while Burlington has Exit Strategy, Mission Impossible, or Confundrum)


4) Make the World a Better Place

You might meet a tender Tinderer who cares and wants to give back. You and your kind-hearted right-swiping friend can meet at Taste of Colombia for a night of ethical coffee, or head to TriBeCa for board games.

If your online paramour knows about this place and wants to get to know you over a book discussion or crunchy acoustic set, you’ve probably found a quirky intellectual worth dating. He or she might even wear cool glasses or rock an unconventional hair style that you’re hopefully young enough to appreciate.

If you’re still in the mood to party after nurturing your goodness, you can take your deep discussion to a local watering hole with an extensive craft beer selection (think Bru or Culaccino) and let the drinks enhance your emotional honesty.


5) “After the Party it’s the Ho-Tel Lobby”

That’s an R. Kelly reference.

Tinder has a reputation for being a hook-up site. It might be because it relies on pictures and brief blurbs to match singles or because someone once said it was a hook-up site and everyone believed it and was like, “OMG Jessica stay off that site you deserve eHarmony!” While it’s a multi-use site that can be used to find long-term partners, there are obviously people who use it for isolated nights of rambunctious NSA lovemaking. If you’re looking for a more genital-based interaction and you can’t host (maybe you live at home or with roommates) or go to your date’s place (they don’t want you to see the bodies), you should pick a cool hotel that provides some chic boutique flair without the high-end price point.

If you want glass showers, a queen-size bed and crisp linens, maybe check out the Waterfront Hotel on Lakeshore Road at Brant St. in Burlington. The modern rooms hover around $200 (and that’s the max, you can find cheaper suites if necessary). Book a room with a view and get your eat on at some awesome Brant St. restos!

Perhaps if you’re more interested in laying low, you’ll want to try the Sandman Hotel at South Service Rd. near Burloak Dr. It’s about $105 and boasts a Denny’s resto so you can wow your date with some pre- or post-sex pancakes and eggs.

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